A Runner’s Inner Monologue

I know so many of y’all can relate this. Enjoy!

• Oh wow, I actually matched my shoes with my outfit. Score one for Meghann.
• Okay, let’s stretch. Ugh, when did my toes get to far away? I think my arms shrunk.
• Maybe I should start doing yoga. I mean, I did pin like 10 new workouts this week on Pinterest.
• Okay, let’s do this. 5 miles. Easy-peasy.
• Well, 14 steps in and I already sound like I’m dying.
• Not dying. Just can’t breathe normal. Two in-two out. Let’s go.
• How long have I been running for? I probably already have like 2 miles in. 8 MINUTES. WHAT THE….
• I am dying over here.
• Oh look! A puppy. Hi puppy! Murphy would love you. Let’s be friends.
• Okay, I found my stride, the rest of the run should be easy now.
• NOPE. Side stitch. OUCCCCCH.
• Breathe in two steps, out two steps.
• Don’t swing your arms. Pretend you are Shalane.
*Plays Rocky theme song in head*
• Crap, I have to pee and I still have two miles to go.
• I totally deserve a pizza after this run. Or some chicken nuggets.
• 4.5 miles. Almost done. Run faster so it will be over faster.
• I am dying. 4.8 is close enough to 5 miles.
• It’s over. Thank the Lord.
• Let’s do it again tomorrow.

Sound familiar?


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